You Can Only Die in Tibet Twice
by n0nameneeded
Summary: The gang is going to Tibet for a sneak peak of Jet Fusion's new movie. But things get complicated when Professor Calamitous takes the opportunity to get revenge against our favorite boy genius. Mainly JC with some SL thrown in.
1. Chapter 1

You Can Only Die in Tibet Twice

By n0nameneeded

**CHAPTER 1**

Jimmy plucked a hair from his head and held it an inch or so from the DNA scanner next to his clubhouse door. He waited for a brief moment as the hair was analyzed before the door unlocked itself. Stepping inside, he quickly surveyed the room to see that everything was in its proper place. "Vox," he said, "display last entry of clubhouse." Jimmy nodded with satisfaction as he saw himself entering his clubhouse on the TV screen.

"To the lab," he announced to no one in particular. Suddenly the rug on the floor moved to the side to uncover a hole. Jimmy lowered himself in and dropped, throwing himself into complete darkness. He instantly regretted taking the slide into the lab and not the straight drop from outside as his tailbone protested in pain. Still, he landed on two feet and sat down in the chair facing his giant monitor and computer.

"Goddard, wake mode," he called. His faithful canine companion instantly came to life, barking and extending his neck like a giraffe to grab the empty Purple Flurp can next to the keyboard. "Hey, buddy. I see you're making good use of that extendable neck." Goddard barked repeatedly as Jimmy turned back to the monitor, then whined when he didn't immediately have his attention.

Noticing his friend's distress, the boy genius cocked an eyebrow. "What's the matter, Goddard?" Goddard barked again and lifted his front plate, revealing a small video screen, which showed the words, "You have 1 new message(s)." Jimmy looked up at his inbox. He did, in fact, have a new video email. "Thanks, boy," he said.

Clicking on the new mail icon, he became confused when the media window came up on screen completely blank, and the progress bar indicated that it was finished loading. Hitting reload did nothing. When he tried to reload again, the screen froze temporarily. His eyebrows shot up when the email deleted itself and window after window began to appear onscreen, binary and encrypted coding flashing before his eyes.

Jimmy kept a cool head, but he realized that he was being hacked. He could think of only a handful of computers in the world that could get past the defenses he had built into his own computer. Knowing that he would be able to recognize who was hacking him by the decryption method being used, or at least narrow it down a bit, Jimmy sat straight up in his chair and tried to make sense of what was happening.

Watching intently for only a matter of minutes, Jimmy realized that the hacker, whoever he or she was, was tearing down every bit of security he had installed in his machine, but was then rebuilding it. He could make out his own firewalls being destroyed, and then being rebuilt; gaps he didn't even know had existed being filled in the process. He could only assume that whoever was doing this was trying to send him a confidential message, and was making sure that it would not be intercepted.

"Goddard," he said, his tone anxious, "delete audio and video recordings of all events since my most recent arrival at the laboratory and continue to keep all methods of recording shut down until my departure." His metal friend answered with two barks. Jimmy turned back to the screen, unable to recognize the pattern the hacker was following. He quickly realized that it was a fruitless pursuit and closed his eyes for a brief second, trying to figure out who could possibly have anything important enough to say to him that they would go to this length to do it.

As if on cue, the screen went completely white for a moment before being replaced with a media window. Jet Fusion and Commander Baker appeared on screen. "Good afternoon, Mr. Neutron," Baker greeted the boy genius. Jimmy's eyes shot open and he sat bolt upright. This was the first time in three years B.T.S.O. had contacted him.

"This is a prerecorded message for your eyes only," Baker said in his powerful voice. "Under no circumstances are you to show this to anyone else, nor are you to record it in any way, shape or form. This message will erase itself completely after one viewing. Take care to memorize every word." Jimmy couldn't believe it. He was going on another mission!

Jet stepped forward. "As you're probably aware, my new movie, 'You Can Only Die in Tibet Twice', comes out in theaters next year. Currently I am in Hollywood, but I am about to leave for Tibet for the shooting of the next stage of the movie. You will arrive at the airport in Tibet and there will be a black stretch limo with opaque windows and a license plate you're sure to recognize waiting for you."

Commander Baker took over. "Upon your arrival, Jet will meet you in the parking lot outside the airport on the hour and bring you up to speed. We have an agent positioned in Retroville, Texas disguised as a baggage security worker who will give you five round-trip tickets to Tibet. You will be staying in the same hotel as Jet. Two rooms are reserved under his name for you and your friends for one week."

"This mission isn't strictly pleasure, Jimmy," Fusion warned, "but I'll brief you on that when you reach Tibet. You will be undercover as my nephew if asked, but again, I'll go into specifics later. Remember that aside from you, me, and your four friends, nobody is going to know that you and I are spies, so it's hush hush." Jet winked. "See you in Tibet." The screen slowly faded to black and rebooted.

Jimmy was completely and utterly blown away.

He would be going to Tibet to see the filming of Jet Fusion's newest movie and to work with B.T.S.O. again. His brain began working at full speed in short order, and he booted up his internet browser and checked the next flight to Tibet. Sure enough, there was one scheduled for the next day, Monday, at 12:05 PM.

Jimmy smiled to himself. He had to pack his clothes, make a few phone calls, and most importantly of all, make Cindy Vortex sweat. He knew, of course, that he'd be inviting her. She was one of his best friends, but there was nothing like rubbing it in, not to mention that he knew a particular name that would give her fits in this situation.

He plucked his cell phone from his pocket and searched through his list of recently called numbers. He easily found Cindy's cell number and confirmed his selection, raising the phone to his ear and grinning like the Cheshire Cat. He heard her pick up and nearly laughed out loud at the thought of how she would react. This was going to be good.

"Hey, Jimmy. What's up?"

"Oh, nothing much, Vortex," he lied. "I'm so incredibly bored because I've got five plane tickets to go to Tibet and see the filming of Jet Fusion's new movie, and I don't know who to invite."

The silence on the other end of the line was priceless. When Cindy found her voice, it sounded like she was just getting a grip on the English language. "You - I - tickets to see - before - Jet Fusion?" she spluttered.

"That's right, and I can only bring four people besides myself. I'll bring Carl and Sheen, of course, and Sheen won't go without Libby, so that leaves only one spot. Any suggestions on who I should bring?" Jimmy could visualize her, openmouthed, taking her cell phone away from her ear to make sure it was indeed hers.

"You're obviously bringing me, Spewtron," she huffed. "Don't play mind games with me."

Jimmy tried his best to sound indecisive. "I don't know. This would be an excellent way for Betty Quinlan and I to get to know each other a little better, if you know what I mean. And you know how much of a Jet Fusion fan she is," he added tauntingly.

"And you know how much of a Jet Fusion fan I am," Cindy countered. "There's no way you're taking Quinlan to Tibet instead of me and you know it. Libby won't go without me, and Sheen won't go without Libby, and you won't go without Sheen."

Jimmy decided that the fun was over, although he couldn't help but allow himself a laugh at her initial reaction to the fact that he had tickets to see Jet Fusion. "The flight leaves at 12:05 PM. Get packed and call Libby, and I'll call Sheen and Carl. We'll be staying in Tibet for a week."

Cindy squealed on the other end of the line. Jimmy scoffed at her childish reaction to the good news, but his heart did a somersault at the sound. "Oh, thanks so much Jimmy! I knew you weren't completely useless!" she teased.

"Bite your tongue, Vortex," he said, "or I might accidentally lose that fifth ticket."

"As if. See you tomorrow," she laughed. He heard the line go dead and held the phone at an arm's length as he dialed Carl's cell number. This was going to be an awesome week.

Author's Notes

I'm not quite sure about how accurate I was in describing how Jimmy gets into his clubhouse, but I think this was fairly close. I was also probably way off on my explanation of how Jimmy's computer was hacked, but hopefully none of you are hackers and couldn't tell the difference. If you are, don't bother with me. I'm a poor high school student and you'd probably only profit in pocket change.

In case you were wondering, I had Jimmy take a plane because that way there wouldn't be the unfillable plot hole of where he hides his hovercar for a week without it being stolen or damaged. That really irked me in Operation: Rescue Jet Fusion, so now I'm setting things straight. And of course, there was just a hint of Jimmy/Cindy in this chapter, but do not worry, there is much more where that came from.

P.S. Reviews make me update faster. :P


	2. Chapter 2

You Can Only Die in Tibet Twice

By n0nameneeded.

**CHAPTER 2**

Even though Jimmy could read and comprehend Chinese as quickly as he could English, it was hard to find the exit of the Tibetan airport due to the unbelievable number of people there. Of course, it didn't help that Sheen had to stop and press his face up against the glass display windows of every store that grabbed his attention, either.

"I can't believe they have it!" Sheen cried. "The Ultralord Ultra Deluxe Utility Belt hasn't even been released in the States yet, and they've got it here. We have to get this, Jimmy!"

"We're saving our money, Sheen. Besides, we don't have to get this, you _want_ to get this. If you had brought money of your own, you could buy it. Plus, the instruction manual isn't in English, so you wouldn't be able to read it," Jimmy said, exasperated.

Sheen got down on hands and knees and his eyes began to fill up with convincing tears. "You don't understand! The Ultra Deluxe Edition may never be released in the United States. This is the last thing I'll get, I promise!"

Jimmy wasn't moved. "That's what you said the last six times," he retorted grumpily, readjusting his grip on several heavy shopping bags. "Let's go." Cindy, Libby and Carl followed him towards the escalators while Sheen kissed the glass separating him from his Utility Belt.

"I'll be back for you!" Sheen called over his shoulder, as he raced to catch up with the others.

When they reached the bottom of the escalator, Carl spoke up. "Which way to the food court, Jim?" His verbal request was accompanied by a growl from his stomach. He grinned sheepishly as Jimmy looked around for a sign with arrows on it so that he could get a general idea of which direction the food court was in, but both girls shook their heads.

"No way, Neutron. We're not taking the time to do something unnecessary like eating. Jet Fusion is waiting for us!" Cindy protested.

Libby nodded in agreement. "Yeah, Jimmy. We might not meet Jet on time and he could believe that we're in serious trouble and risk blowing his cover by coming in to check up on the flight."

"You're only saying that because you're as eager to see Jet as Cindy is," Sheen complained. "Although it was a pretty good excuse," he grudgingly added.

"Good excuse or not, it's half an hour till Jet picks us up in front of the airport, and that sign," Jimmy said, pointing at a sign with Chinese symbols all over it and several arrows in various directions, "says that the food court and exit are in the same general area. Plus, we don't know how long the drive to the hotel will be, so we need to eat."

A scowl settled over Cindy's pretty features. "I hate it when you're right." Jimmy actually took this as a compliment, seeing as it would be the closest thing to a positive comment he would get from her in this mood, much less a public form of admiration. "So where's the food court?"

"C'mon," Jimmy said, and motioned to the other four to follow him, suitcases clattering behind them. They walked past several clothing shops and jewelry stores, which Cindy and Libby oohed and aahed over, much to the boys' annoyance. Sheen made a valiant effort to show them up by not commenting on anything colorful or shiny he saw in the store windows. He let out a sigh of relief as Jimmy proclaimed, "Here we are. The food court."

Carl's eyes bugged out. "They have a Taco Horn here!" Four heads turned in the direction of where Carl had pointed a finger. Amongst all the Chinese food places, the infamous Taco Horn symbol, a tortilla with hands, feet and eyes wearing a sombrero, was beckoning the five teenagers to order there.

"All in favor of Taco Horn?" Libby asked. Five hands simultaneously shot into the air, and their owners all ran over to the restaurant to order.

After paying for their food, Jimmy checked his watch while balancing his tray on the other hand. "Eat up, you guys," he advised them. "We need to make sure that we're waiting for Jet outside the building when he pulls up to the front."

"Don't rush me, Jimmy," Libby said. "An enchalupa from Taco Horn must be savored, especially in a foreign country where we'll probably never get one of these again." Jimmy just rolled his eyes and left it at that, but Sheen couldn't resist.

"Wow, what a role reversal. Now Jimmy's all crazy about meeting Jet and you're the one who's saying that we have plenty of time to eat. I think the jet lag is already starting to get to you, Libby." The dark-skinned girl replied in the most mature way she could think of and blew a raspberry at him. Sheen responded in an equally mature fashion, which is to say he blew one right back.

Cindy made pantomime gagging noises and crossed her eyes while Jimmy nodded in agreement. Carl was too busy eating to notice, of course, but after their exchange was over, he had taken the last bite of his supreme taco combo and let loose a large belch, which Sheen broke into hysterics over, rivaling the one his mother had performed after drinking his Burp Soda when they had returned home from Yolkus four years ago.

Jimmy fondly remembered his adventures on Yolkus at the young age of ten. He had been the new kid in school then, and had become fast friends with Carl and Sheen, but he was immediately labeled by the rest of the kids in his class.

But not Cindy.

Even though she had laughed at him like everyone else, some part of him knew, ever since she had helped him get his feet back on the ground after being imprisoned in the Yolkian dungeon, knew that she was different. It was difficult to explain, but he knew somehow that she was only letting off steam. He couldn't really put a finger on what had tipped him off, but he supposed it was her eyes, if anything. Her deep, green eyes that he could get lost in with only a passing glance.

What? No! He was definitely not thinking any of that just now. What was he thinking about? Whatever it was, it was definitely not Cindy. Not Cindy and her enticing green eyes.

Nope. Not Cindy.

"Hey Jimmy?" Cindy asked.

"Hmmph?" he said unintelligibly, not realizing that he had taken a bite of his food while he had been not thinking about Cindy. She made a disgusted face, but her eyes were twinkling, or something like it, which was definitely not good news for the boy genius.

"Jet's going to be picking us up in around five minutes if your watch is correct." Jimmy's eyes widened and he hastily shoved the remaining few bites of his burrito into his mouth and washed it down with the rest of his Flurp. Amazingly, he did not choke.

"I'll take the trays up," Jimmy offered, taking the five trays and placing all the trash on top of one of them, then stacking the other four beneath it. He dumped the trash and left the trays on the table, noticing that several others around him had done the same. "Let's go, guys," he said urgently. The other four stood up and followed him towards the exit.

Jimmy got right down to business, speaking rapidly as they approached the doors. "Sheen, when a black limousine with opaque windows pulls up in front of the exit door, casually look around the front or back of the car and read me the license plate, character by character. If it's correct I'll nod my head. The trunk should pop, and we can all stuff our luggage in there. If not, we'll have to use the floor of the limo."

"Jimmy - " Sheen began, but he cut him off.

"Act natural about this, you guys, and close the door behind you as quickly as you can after you get in. We don't want to draw too much attention to ourselves or whoever may be driving the limousine. Sheen, since you'll be walking halfway around the car anyway to see the plates, you should get in on the other side of the car. Libby, you should too. Carl, Cindy and I will take the closer side, but only on my nod." They were very close to the door now. Jimmy could see that there were a lot of people waiting for their ride. He checked his watch nervously. Two minutes.

"Will Jet be driving?" Cindy asked excitedly, which Jimmy found annoying, but he was patient.

"Not sure, but you'll see him soon enough either way. What was your question earlier, Sheen?"

"I was going to ask what opaque meant."

Jimmy sighed. "Opaque means that no light can pass through the window, so that you can't see through it, from the outside, at least."

"Oooohh," Carl suddenly realized. So when Libby says that you're always trying to be opaque, she's actually talking about the fact that you - OW! My scapula..." he moaned as Libby's foot landed squarely on his.

"Oops!" she said innocently. "My bad, Carl."

"Carl, do you even know where the scapula is?" Jimmy quizzed as they passed though the double doors.

"Yes! ...No..." he admitted. Jimmy hadn't heard, however. His gaze was fixed intently on the limousine pulling up just a few feet in front of them. He heard Sheen pull off a convincing whistle.

He walked around front and gave the whole thing a once-over before he dropped his voice so that only Jimmy and the others could hear him. "2-7-A-A-B-T-R-S," he reported, as the trunk popped open. Jimmy grinned at Jet's reference to the twenty-seven AA batteries he would have needed to activate his Jet shoes and escape the giant snowball chasing them down Mt. Everest. He gave a slight nod and walked around back to stuff his luggage into the roomy posterior of the car, with the others close behind him.

Everyone quickly loaded into the limo, trying to catch a glimpse of the driver's face, but unable to make it out due to the obscure angle of the rearview mirror and the fact that whoever it was had adjusted the seat so that none of him or her was visible. They pulled away from the airport in suspense.

After they had been on the road for what seemed like ages, the driver brought his hand up to the rear view mirror and adjusted it so that Jimmy was looking into it at an angle.

There, staring back at him, was Jet Fusion.

Author's Notes

I'm afraid that I may have used an already existing title for the Ultralord Utility Belt, but Ultra Deluxe just sounded so cool in my head, and I don't have "The Eggpire Strikes Back" on DVD or video to double check. I tried to throw in a little SL into this chapter as well as some obvious JC. It might have been a bit overbearing, but I mixed in some humor to balance it out, and yes, before you ask, I am going to take forever to get into the plot. Yes, before you ask, I'm evil.

Also, I have no earthly idea what Taco Horn's mascot would be if it was an actual restaurant, or if the show has shown the Taco Horn mascot before, so I made this one up. I know it's horrible, but at least this chapter wasn't bad overall as a whole, right?

RIGHT?

I would also like to say that I completely disregarded any sense of time or time zones in these first two chapters because I'm just not willing to do one of those "if this plane is going at blah blah blah MPH from blank to blank, what time will it be when you fall asleep because math is such a boring subject?" word problems (the answer to that one is "in about two seconds"). Finally, I would like to admit that I join Carl in the ranks of not having any earthly idea where the scapula is.

Feedback? Criticism? Any money you'd like to give me out of the goodness of your heart? Then review and make my day (and maybe my wallet).


	3. Chapter 3

You Can Only Die in Tibet Twice

By n0nameneeded

**CHAPTER 3**

"311, 312, 313, and 314." Jet paused in front of the hotel door and handed Jimmy a key card. "One for you, Carl and Sheen, and one for you two ladies," he said suavely, handing Libby an identical key card. "You'll be in 315, and I'll be across from you gentlemen in 316. We should all clean ourselves up and then I'll bring you up to speed. We'll meet in my room on the hour. Dress accordingly," he joked, winking at the girls, and pressed his key card into its slot and stepped into his room, the door closing behind him.

Jimmy turned to do the same, but he could hear Cindy sigh, "That Jet Fusion..." before the door shut behind him and the two other boys. He rolled his eyes and surveyed the hotel room. Jimmy couldn't remember ever being in a room this nice. There was a bathroom immediately on the left, and two queen sized beds sat against the left side of the bedroom, with a television set resting on (and not bolted to) a mahogany desk. He walked over to the curtains on the far side of the room, pulling his rolling suitcase behind him, and pushed them open, revealing a breathtaking view of the sun setting in Tibet. Cindy would have loved the view.

What? That couldn't have been right. Jimmy pushed her to the darkest corner of his gigantic brain and turned to his right to see a second bedroom with a bathroom of its own. It looked similar to the other room, but there was only one bed, and it was a king. Noticing his line of vision, Sheen leapt into action. "Dibs on the good room," he proclaimed. Jimmy arched an eyebrow.

"No way, I noticed it first," Jimmy retorted, and kicked his suitcase into the room. "Besides, my stuff is already in there."

Sheen threw his Ultralord backpack into the room and onto the bed. "So is mine." There was a brief pause. "Rock paper scissors?"

"Definitely," Jimmy agreed. They were about to engage in a heated match when Carl spoke up.

"Whoa whoa whoa. Hold on a second here. I want in on this too," Carl said. Sheen and Jimmy looked at each other, wondering if it was possible to do rock paper scissors three ways.

"Why not?" Sheen decided. "I'm going to win this thing anyway." All three boys stuck out their left hands, curled their right hands into fists and rested them on top of their left. "Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!" All three had chosen rock. "Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!" Carl had paper, Jimmy had rock, and Sheen had scissors.

"I guess nobody wins this round," Jimmy said slowly, "because everybody has one win and one loss." Carl and Sheen nodded in agreement. "Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!" Sheen had shown paper, but the other two had scissors. The two boys slapped high fives as Sheen slumped into the room to collect his backpack.

Jimmy and Carl faced off for one more go. "Rock, paper, scissors, SHOOT!" Jimmy had rock, and Carl had paper. "Oh yeah, I'm bad!" Carl celebrated, shaking Jimmy's hand as if he had just beaten him out for the position of President. Jimmy went into the good room to get his suitcase and dragged it over to the unoccupied queen sized bed. Sheen was nowhere to be found, so Jimmy assumed he was in the shower. He pulled his trademark red shirt with the atom symbol and jeans out of his suitcase and set them aside, letting his thoughts wander.

After Sheen and Carl had showered and changed, Jimmy walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind him, stripping down to nothing and turning the water on. He stuck a hand in front of him as he entered the shower to brace himself. As he had expected, because of the elevation and the climate in this part of the world, the water was cold. The fact that Carl and Sheen had already used up the hot water, if any, wasn't very helpful either. He hastened to get out of the shower and emerged in a pair of clean clothes.

Picking up his watch, which he had taken off before he went into the bathroom, he saw that it was 11:56 AM Greenwich Mean Time, which meant that it was nearly 8 PM in China. Jet had told them to meet him on the hour. Jimmy found Sheen and Carl playing 'Ultralord Versus Robofiend Mega Battle 3' on the game system built in to the TV. "This is the coolest hotel ever, Jimmy!" Sheen announced. "The graphics look almost as good as on the giant screen in your lab!"

"Guys, we have to meet Jet in just three minutes," he reminded them. Carl set down his controller and crawled across the bed behind Sheen to meet Jimmy in the doorway, leaving Robofiend exposed for a series of Ultrapunches and kicks from Ultralord. Sheen raised his arm in triumph, but turned off the TV and set his controller down, too, following the other two out into the hallway. He tentatively knocked on door 316. "It's Jimmy, and I've got Sheen and Carl."

The door swung open to reveal Jet in his usual tux and bow tie, with Cindy and Libby already sitting Indian style on one of the beds in the room, with several manilla folders filled with photographs and papers scattered across the covers. "Hey, guys, come in," he said. "The girls and I had just started, so you haven't missed much." Jimmy and Carl opted to take wooden seats from underneath the desk in the corner of the room, but Sheen chose to flop onto the other bed on his back. Jet walked over to the center of the room.

"Right, then, down to business. You all have probably seen the posters at the movies for 'You Can Only Die in Tibet Twice', right?" There was a chorus of nods from the five teenagers. "Well, the movie is actually based on a mission I went on three years ago with Jimmy for B.T.S.O, only, I'm sorry to say, the company didn't go for having a child costar in the film, so I fly solo in this one. I, of course, play me, but we also have two other show-stealers in this film." He motioned towards one of the stacks of photos Cindy and Libby had been looking at earlier. "Tim Curry and Wendie Malick will be the other big names. Ladies, if you would?"

Cindy passed two pictures to Jimmy, which he studied with utmost attention to detail. Curry was of about the same stature as Professor Calamitous, and wearing the same outfit minus the robotic glasses, but there were several distinguishing features that set him apart from Calamitous. For one thing, Curry had no overbite, and for another, he had no freckles. In addition to those two missing features, Curry's eyebrows were less bushy than Calamitous's, so Jimmy found them easy to tell apart and passed the photo on.

He studied Malick's photograph with much greater interest, though, for she seemed to be Beautiful Gorgeous's exact duplicate. They had the same short but alluring black hair, same high cheekbones, same green eyes and the same tanned skin. Even their bodily proportions seemed to be exactly the same; both women wore skintight black leather that showed off their supermodel figures. "I can't find a difference between Gorgeous and Malick," he confessed.

"That's good," Jet said, "because that's Beautiful."

"I'll say," whistled Sheen, to whom Jimmy had passed the photograph of Gorgeous. Libby made a face from across the room.

Jet took a photo from one of the folders. "This is Malick," he said, handing it to Jimmy. Again, Jimmy saw the similarities between the two women, both having stunning features and bodies which made them almost identical, but he saw the difference after just a brief twice-over. While Gorgeous had green eyes, Malick's were brown.

"The eyes," he said. Jet nodded. Jimmy passed the picture to Carl.

"Anyway, since Beautiful and Calamitous seemed to fit the plot of the movie too perfectly, I designed the movie's characters to be just like them, and I even pulled a few strings to get them to actually play the characters by their actual names. It really helped me get into the movie, because I'd done it once before, and it's a really big inside joke for B.T.S.O. agents since Tim and Wendie look just like them," Jet elaborated.

"Won't that raise the possibility of your cover as a secret agent being blown, though?" Cindy observed.

"You would think so," Jet replied, "but B.T.S.O. has kept this under wraps better than you would think possible for them. The only members of the general public that know that Beautiful and Calamitous's run-ins with me off the set are you five. Everyone else's memory had been adjusted thanks to Jimmy's hypnobeam blueprints."

"Still, couldn't some problems arise? Beautiful's a crafty foe. She could be released for good behavior again," Jimmy said, putting 'good behavior' in hand quotations, "and assume Malick's role on the set. She would just need some contacts to match Malick and otherwise they could pass as twins! And Curry isn't a far cry from Calamitous, either, with all the face-changing makeup I'm assuming will be present there. Are you going to do DNA checks of some kind to make sure who's who?" he asked.

"First of all, Wendie's voice is different than Beautiful's. I can't exactly say in what way it's different, but you can tell them apart if you're having a face to face conversation with them. And besides, Beautiful and the nutty professor are being held under watch, where only those two are being held and the guard to prisoner ratio is five to one. But as for your second guess, you hit the nail right on the head. They are, in fact, doing DNA checks on the prisoners every hour, and they will be immediately recorded on this," he said, handing Jimmy what looked like a PDA, with those exact letters across the top.

"Portable Deoxyribonucleic Archiving?" Jimmy guessed.

Jet smiled. "Man, you are one smart kid. Yeah, this thing will automatically tell you whose DNA it is if it's not a match, or not give you a result at all if the prisoner has escaped. It's a bit like a cell phone because you can set it to ring or rumble when you get an update, plus you can send live audio mail with whoever else has one of these, namely myself and Baker. You can not let this fall into the wrong hands." Jimmy took the small device and pocketed it.

Jet turned to address the five as a group, his voice serious. "Even though the odds of the scenario Jimmy has described, that is, Gorgeous and Calamitous escaping, are slim, you need to be alert at all times. You should avoid interacting with either Wendie or Tim when no one else is around or in situations you would ordinarily consider dangerous. If for any reason you should need to contact me, which you should only do in the case of emergencies, it can take priority over everything but the recording of the film. If I am unavailable, then you should get ahold of Jimmy, and if neither of us are reachable, assume something has happened to us and treat both Wendie and Tim as hostiles. Jimmy will be posing as my nephew in case the need to explain his presence arises, but I doubt that will happen, and he will be able to provide a story if need be.

"Remember, you're not here for business. This is a pleasure visit. But you must remember everything I've told you. I can not stress that enough." A chorus of nods followed Jet's summary, and his voice adopted a more cheery tone before he went on. "All that's left to do now is for you five to make sure all your things are together and when you're ready, you guys can crash and we'll head off for the set tomorrow."

Jet strode over to the door and held it open, holding his other hand out towards the main hallway. The five teenagers exited the hotel room and headed in separate directions, all of them completely unaware that on the other side of the world, two villains were plotting their revenge against two of B.T.S.O.'s top agents.

Author's Notes

Thanks to my reviewers so far. There's been a very long time between my last update and this one, but it's due to my two week vacation, during which I actually did not work on this story (AP History project needing doing), so I'll have to write like mad to make it up to you guys! One of my reviewers asked about my reference to "Taco Horn" in Chapter Two, and I do believe that Taco Horn is actually used in conversation between Cindy and Libby in the episode Granny Baby, where Cindy and Libby are having a garage sale and are trying to get enough money for a enchalupa or burrito from said restaurant. That reference was just off the top of my head, but at the time I was fairly sure of its validity. It's worth looking into, though. Thanks to all my other reviewers as well!

As for this chapter, I used the names of the actual voice artists that play Calamitous and Beautiful Gorgeous in the actual TV show because unoriginality actually seemed original in this case, if that makes any sense whatsoever. The way I've described them in the chapter does not reflect my personal views about them, because I really doubt Curry is that short or that Malick laughs so insanely (My Big Fat Spy Wedding was a strange episode, to say the very least). However, that's my decision and hopefully it doesn't lead me into some kind of lawsuit that would put me in, to quote Hugh Neutron, "massive, paralyzing debt."

If this chapter seems a bit rushed, that's because it is, but I felt like I owed you guys another one because there was a two week delay between updates, so here it is. As always, working from a Macintosh is frustrating and there are bound to be problems, so check back to see whether or not I've updated the problems that may occur. I won't change the entire focus of the chapter (if I'm not satisfied with what I've created) when I update, but probably just the last few paragraphs, which may be where the chapter seems to be choppy. Chapter 4 is in the works, so hang tight and as always, reviews are appreciated!


	4. Chapter 4

You Can Only Die in Tibet Twice

By n0nameneeded

**CHAPTER 4**

Professor Finbar Calamitous picked disdainfully at his prison denims. If it weren't for a certain two individuals, he would be wearing his trademark white lab coat and black gloves, and he wouldn't be wearing these ridiculous non-automated glasses. Honestly, having to move his arm to adjust his glasses every time they slipped or he needed them off to see at close range was much more tiring than one would think. He had bigger problems to worry about, though.

For starters, he was being held under what might possibly be the highest security in the nation, and his window of opportunity to escape and exact his revenge on the aforementioned two individuals would disappear in about one hour.

While the ordinary man might have found these to be impossible circumstances, Professor Calamitous was either too motivated or too shortsighted to see it that way, and so he began to formulate his plan to free himself and his daughter from B.T.S.O.'s grasp. He looked across the hallway through the bars of his prison cell to see his daughter sitting on her queen-sized bed and flipping through the channels on the television bolted to her wall, neither of which Calamitous had the luxury of.

Television, of course, had solved the problem of finding out that Jet would be in Tibet, as the media was all over the making of his new movie, and Beautiful had overheard a hushed conversation between two prison guards that confirmed Jimmy would be with him. Apparently B.T.S.O.'s 'two top spies' were going to be in Tibet together for one week, and Calamitous could reasonably assume it was this one. And if it was, he was going to break out and make sure Jet and Jimmy paid the price for locking him up for three years.

Beautiful was currently looking at a news channel, but her attention was focused on the time and temperature display on the right hand corner of the screen. Although she and her father were right across the hall from each other, they could not form an escape plan audibly because of the guards constantly patrolling the area. However, both knew sign language and had formed a plan to escape. 11:59, read the clock. Seconds until that plan was put into action.

Right on cue, one agent walked in front of Beautiful's cell and one in front of Calamitous's. Each entered the five-digit punch code into the keypad to the left of the door and inserted the card into the cell's card slot, both of the doors swinging open. Since Calamitous was bald, his guard took samples of his saliva. No questions asked. However, Beautiful, who had already exhibited her charm on this particular guard, had other plans.

She quickly assessed the situation. He was armed only with a tranquilizer gun, but she was sure that the guards not guarding specific cells but main hallways would be carrying guns not intended to sedate but to kill. He did have a pair of handcuffs with him, but no other form of restraint. He had a two-way radio clipped to his belt and looked to be in good physical shape, but she was sure that if it came down to hand-to-hand combat, she could take him down. The man reached for a tweezers to collect a hair sample, but Gorgeous had other plans.

Beautiful slightly lowered her head and looked up at the guard through her lashes. "Actually," she laughed with mock embarrassment, "I was wondering if I could take a urine sample. I need to use the restroom anyway, if it's not a problem."

"Sure thing, Ms. Gorgeous," the agent replied.

"Please, call me Beautiful," she replied. The guard fell in line behind her and she began to walk out the door but stopped just short of the hall. "Aren't you going to do a weapons check, Dan?"

"I don't believe you would be able to hide a weapon on your person, Beautiful," Dan replied in a businesslike manner, referring to the tight leather outfit she was wearing. She could tell that even though Dan was very good at hiding his emotions, he was attracted to her. She would use this to her full advantage.

"I see," Beautiful said, as if she wasn't aware of that fact. "All right, then. Shall we?" She placed her hands behind her back and allowed the guard to handcuff her, then walked down the hallway and took a right, but looked left before the turn. There was a guard flanking each corner of the cell hallways, all of them armed with tranquilizers and two-ways similar to Dan's. She could see two guards at the end of the hallway leading to the bathroom with standard prison guns. One mistake and it was over.

"Here we are, Ms. Gorgeous," Dan said. She felt the pressure on her wrists loosen as her handcuffs were removed. Beautiful walked into the bathroom and heard the guard follow her in.

She spun on her heels. "Is it really necessary for you to accompany me into the restroom?" Dan nodded as the door shut behind him. Beautiful looked him over with her sharp green eyes before turning again and walking into the stall. Dan leaned his back against the door and exhaled deeply, eyes turned towards the ceiling.

The sound of flushing brought his attention to the stall. Beautiful emerged and washed her hands at the sink, then stuck them under an automated hand drier and pressed the button, the machine roaring to life. After a few seconds she pulled them back and surveyed her reflection. "Oh!" she exclaimed. "Better zip up." The zipper on her outfit was down just below the collarbone, but it was enough to bring a blush to Dan's face when she zipped it back up. "You're blushing!" Beautiful remarked coyly.

Dan found himself unable to break eye contact with her. "I've been watching you, Dan, and I've been watching all the other guards here, too. But I have to say that you're my favorite." Her voice was more seductive now, more trancelike. He took measured breaths and kept his gaze straight even as she circled behind him. He was mesmerized somehow.

Suddenly her tone turned cold. "You let your guard down." Suddenly he felt a well placed jab to his neck and then in the small of his back, and he was on the ground. He reached for his tranquilizer. It was gone. He quickly pushed himself off his stomach and into a defensive standing position. Beautiful had the gun aimed straight at him.

"Don't even think about going for your two-way. I've mastered 127 martial arts," she warned him, stepping closer, "and I'll bury this dart in your heart if need be." She took another step. "Hand me the radio, Dan, and I'll sedate you painlessly." Another step.

He slowly reached for his two-way, his hand shaking in fear. "Set it on the ground." Dan knelt down and placed the radio on the tiled bathroom floor, then stood back up, hands interlocked behind his head. "On your knees." He obeyed. Beautiful walked around behind him, the gun pointed at his neck. She pressed her foot into his back and pushed him onto the cold floor, cuffing him quickly, then reaching for the two-way, she pushed the stall door open again and tossed it in the toilet. The radio sputtered pitifully, sparked for a second, then died. Beautiful tentatively removed it and buried it in the trash can.

"Sorry about this, Dan," she said, and without warning aimed the gun at his leg and pulled the trigger. No sound escaped his lips at the pain of the dart's tip puncturing his quadriceps. Beautiful placed a hand on his neck to find a pulse. She counted beats for a number of seconds and found that his heart rate had slowed considerably. She figured she had spent seven or eight minutes getting rid of her guard. Beautiful hurriedly put Dan's clothes on over her own, finding a security card in the pocket of the guard's pants. Pressing her ear against the door, she waited.

She heard footsteps approaching and pressed herself against the hinged side of the door, pulse pounding. This would be the end of her escape if she were caught. The footsteps slowly faded, though, and she knew it was time to move. The guards shifted positions at 12:10 sharp, so it was time that she exit the restroom and move down the hall. Her window was closing fast.

Beautiful pushed the door open noiselessly. Except for the guard walking down the hallway past the bathrooms, Beautiful was alone, but only for a few seconds. She walked down the hall in the opposite direction of the other guard and took a left through a cell block. Prisoners lined the walls, most of them keeping to themselves. She prayed that none of them would say anything.

Her prayers were answered save for one flirtatious inmate at the end of the block on the right side. "Hello, gorgeous. Haven' seen you around before." Gorgeous grimaced but kept walking, about to take another left when the prisoner shouted, "Hey, I know you! You're not a guard!" Beautiful screamed mentally and drew her weapon, backpedaling down the hallway and seeing two guards appear, weapons at their sides. Beautiful was quicker, though. She hit both in the chest, turned and sprinted down the hall and took a right.

Another guard stood at the end of the hallway she had just turned into, gun already drawn. Beautiful ducked into a cell hallway, grasping her gun with both hands as two bullets whizzed past. She put her head around the corner and risked one shot, missing and narrowly dodging two more bullets. She could see a guard approaching from the far end of the hall she was taking refuge in. Just as the second guard drew his weapon, she ducked back into the main hall, fired three shots at the first guard, one of which hit him directly in the arm, and ran for the door. Expertly kicking the guard aside, she took the card from her pants pocket and swiped it through the strip. The door hissed open just as the second guard yelled, "Hey!" The bullet grazed Gorgeous's thigh but left her standing as she closed the door behind her.

"Don't move," came a voice from behind Beautiful. She felt the cold metal of a gun's barrel being pressed into the back of her neck. Grimacing partially from the pain of being hit by a bullet and partially because of her bleak situation, she dropped her gun and raised her hands above her head. Beautiful felt herself spun about to face her captor. He was wearing a guard's uniform too, but also a pair of dark sunglasses. She assumed it was to prevent the glare of the computer monitors lining the walls from damaging his eyes. The room was dark, void of windows or any source of non-artificial light.

The man slid a pair of handcuffs across the floor to her. "Cuff yourself. No funny stuff." Beautiful got on her knees, forced into the same humiliating position Dan had just been in not even five minutes ago. Beautiful applied one cuff to her right wrist and turned around to have the other cuffed. She heard him set his weapon down on his desk and kicked her leg out to catch him in the stomach, but he caught her with one hand on her heel and one on her thigh. She winced at the pressure of his hand on her wound. He expertly threw her to the ground. He clicked the other cuff on her left wrist behind her back and stood back up. She grunted and looked up to see his hand go toward his radio. That couldn't happen.

A well-placed kick to the shin forced the guard's weight onto his one leg and put the other in the air for a split second. Rolling over toward the guard, Beautiful put the chain connecting her handcuffs under the guard's foot in that split second and twisted, sending the guard toppling onto his back. She rolled over onto her back again and sat up quickly, using her momentum to stand up in the process. The guard was still down. She put her weight on the leg that she rested on the man's chest. "I need you to override all the cell access codes. It needs to happen right now."

It was hard to see in the darkness, but she couldn't see any emotion in the guard's face. "How do you override the locks on the cell doors?" she yelled. "How?" She raised her heel and slammed it on the guard's chest. "How do you override the doors?"

The man began to cough, and he finally grimaced, breaking his mask. She raised her foot again and slammed it down again. "Tell me how to override the locks and this stops," she said cooly.

She raised her foot again. "Stop." Beautiful didn't put her foot down, but instead placed it on the man's chest and rested most of her weight on it.

"Where's the key to my handcuffs?" she demanded.

"My pants pocket." The man started for his pocket and Gorgeous removed her leg. He pulled the key out and attempted to sit up but started to cough furiously. The guard instead slid the key across the floor. Beautiful positioned her feet in front of the key and kneeled down, using her hands, handcuffed behind her back, to grab the key and undo the cuffs.

"Now there's the matter of releasing the prisoners," she reminded him.

"Press and hold Control shift F6," he said in a raspy voice. Beautiful nodded. "There should be a list of command sequences appearing on screen."

"I'm there," she said.

"Now press and hold F4 for three seconds, then shift twice and 516. Don't hold the second shift but keep the hold on F4." Four seconds passed and Beautiful nodded again.

"Type celloverride, one word, then number sign, 516, number sign, than a closed parenthesis. Hit enter three times." Beautiful stared at the screen as the message, 'Do you want to empty trash?' popped up. "It should say, 'Do you want to empty trash?'," the guard said. "Hit F6."

Beautiful tapped the F6 key and immediately the alert noise went off. Lights flashed from the ceiling of the darkened room. "You didn't tell me how to disable the alarms!" she yelled over the siren.

"It's impossible to disable!" the guard shouted back. Beautiful pulled the tranquilizer out and leveled it at him. The guard's eyes widened, then squinted against the harsh red light pouring from the ceiling. Beautiful pulled the trigger, imbedding the dart into the leg of the guard, and watched him slump, unconscious, so that his head rested on the ground. She could see from the security cameras that the prisoners had joined together and were rioting against the guards.

Beautiful could only hope that there weren't too many guards outside the door waiting for her. She had no darts left; she would have to shoot to kill. Taking the monitor guard's gun off the desk, she strode over to the door, rested her hand on the handle, and put her gun up.

The door was thrown open and Beautiful steadied her gun with her other hand, expecting at least three men, but there were zero. Luck was on her side, she decided, after cautiously weaving her way through three abandoned hallways. Back to the end of a cell block, she pivoted and pointed her gun down the fourth. Empty. The sound of the riots was loud enough to be heard over the blaring of the sirens now. Beautiful walked stealthily down the hall and put her back to the wall one more time. She pivoted and kicked down the door, sprinting to her left, the path that would lead her to the exit.

Gorgeous looked out the window, twisted her head to see how bad the rioting was. Her father was waiting for her, she assumed, with the prison's helicopter, but even if the problem of the prison guards was taken care of, her former inmates would definitely have a problem with letting their fastest ticket away from the prison leave in someone else's hands. Taking off the guard's uniform, she cried out in pain from her injury. Beautiful knew failure wasn't an option here, though, so she gritted her teeth and walked through the doors to the prison yard.

She could hear the whir of helicopter blades, but couldn't see the helicopter. The other prisoners were searching the sky for it, too. The flirtatious prisoner from earlier noticed her and walked over. "Hey! You know anything about this helicopter?"

Beautiful shook her head. "No, I don't know about any helicopter. Why?"

The man scratched his head. "Well, I figure that a helicopter would only be here to rescue one of us since we've got the prison canvassed, and you broke out of your cell and into that monitor room. So the way I figure it, you must have set all o' us free knowing that would be the only way you could get out. And that means this helicopter, wherever it is, is comin' for you. Am I right?"

Beautiful brought her other hand to her gun, but he was quicker. "Hey!" he yelled. "I think we got the helicopter girl over here!" His gun was aimed straight for her chest, and he had a look on his face that clearly said, 'Don't even think about it.'

Now would definitely be the time for dear old Dad to show up, Beautiful realized, as several other prisoners began to gather around. "So, you're gettin' a helicopter ride out of here?" one of them said. "Mind if I accompany you?"

"Are you kiddin'?" another interjected. "We kill the pilot and the girl and ride it ourselves." Argument broke out between the prisoners, but was shortly drowned out by a deafening increase in the helicopter's volume. Beautiful ran out of the way of the helicopter's line of fire. Manning the craft was none other than Professor Calamitous, who thrust the control stick down, lowering the helicopter closer to the ground.

The inmates raised their guns, but another few rounds of automatic fire from the helicopter stopped them in their tracks. Beautiful held out her gun at the prisoners, keeping them frozen. She placed one leg on the support bar of the helicopter, weapon still trained on the prisoners, then swung the other into the cockpit. They raised their arms and fired through the windshield, trying to hit Calamitous, but their efforts fell short. The helicopter rose quickly, let loose a last barrage of bullets at the prisoners' feet, and took off into the sky.

Author's Notes

Did you forget about me? Yes, I'm still here. I'm really sorry about the HUGE delay, but I haven't been inspired to write anything over the past, what has it been now, two months? Wow. However, I will finish this story, mark my words. Here's Chapter 4, hopefully there aren't any problems that I'll have to fix. In case any of you are fans of the TV show 24, I kinda ripped the idea for the whole "release all the prisoners to escape" right from Season 3 (which was great, by the way). I'm afraid this might be too long (it's almost double the length of the first chapter), but I didn't think I could trim down any more. Hopefully Chapter 5 will be up sometime within the next week or two!

Sorry if this chapter isn't fluffy enough for some of you, but it's a necessary evil. :) Jimmy and Cindy stuff in the next chapter, I promise.

Also, I'm pretty sure that 127 is the number of martial arts Beautiful has mastered, but I'm not completely sure. Don't quote me on it.

Also, there are two puns about Calamitous's size in this chapter: one in the beginning and one at the end. I couldn't resist!


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